Being Comfortable with Sexuality

This past weekend, my husband and I had the opportunity to have "the talk" with our 11-year old son.  As we prepared to share with him not only the technical and physiological aspects of puberty and sex, I kept feeling strongly that we needed to also explain to him the beauty and blessings and purpose of sexuality, both of men and women.  This responsibility weighed on my mind and heart for several weeks, because of the physical and eternal nature of such a sacred subject.  

 

We began our talk by reading from The Family:  A Proclamation to the World.  "The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.  We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed."  With this as a starting point, we were able to share with him the miracle of his physical body, his potential to create life, and some of the consequences of that ability (both positive and negative).  As we talked, even though the mood was light and casual, we felt the Spirit as we were able to bear testimony to our son about the importance and responsibility of our own sexuality.  

 

Through this experience, in tandem with everything that we learned in this weeks readings, I have gained a greater appreciation for my understanding of the role that sexuality plays in my marriage, and for me personally.  What was a very taboo subject in my home growing up is now an open dialogue with my son.  I never want him to think of sexuality as a curse, or as evil, degrading, or dirty.  President Kimball has counseled:  "“Sex is for procreation and expression of love. It is the destiny of men and women to join together to make eternal family units. In the context of lawful marriage, the intimacy of sexual relations is right and divinely approved. There is nothing unholy or degrading about sexuality in itself, for by that means men and women join in a process of creation and in an expression of love.”  

 

I truly believe that healthy sexual relationships have to begin with a healthy personal understanding of sexuality - what it means, where we get this gift, why we have it, and who it should be saved for.  This type of understanding has to begin early, and as parents we have a responsibility to help our children come to this knowledge.  Our physical bodies are beautiful and miraculous in their ability to create life.  It is no mistake that we are designed to be attracted to each other as we seek to connect on this level and use that power to bring new life into this world.  My hope for my children is that they will learn to respect their bodies as the temples they are, and anticipate their own union with their spouse with joy and purity.  In the meantime, I will continue to nurture my own physical intimacy with my husband so that we can be good examples to our children, and continue to communicate and bear testimony of the sacred blessings of physical intimacy.